right person, wrong timing

Assalamualaikum and hi, my dear imaginary readers!

It's been a very long time since the last time I wrote. I know I promised an end-year post or at least a new year post or whatnot but now it's already August so yeah. I've been busy (malas sebenarnya) with my so-called new life? condition? Something like that. I've been living in Japan for 5 months already. So macam I'm struggling to adapt lah. Kalau nak cerita the whole thing; studies, kawan, everyday life semua tu, I think I need a veryyyy long post for that. So basically, I'm still trying to accept the fact that I'm studying abroad and kena terima lah whatever the challenges are. Sometimes tu macam amazed gila with the fact that I used to be a very motivated person. Like if I'm determined to do something, I'll do it. Tapi sekarang, I feel like I'm a very negative person. I don't feel like myself dah. So, finding myself is one of the struggles jugak sekarang ni.

Actually, this time I wanted to write about feelings.

Haa okay lah to be honest, I'm starting to feel annoyed with myself for always leading every conversation to this topic. Tapi tulah, it can't be avoided tau. Frankly speaking, I feel pressured dengan orang sekeliling bila everyone is like in a relationship and all. Faham je, when people said, "chill lah, everyone has their own timeline and all". I mean, it's not a big deal pun macam hidup dan mati punya stuff. Tapi tulah. Anyway, regarding the post title, 'right person, wrong timing'. Okay, my dear imaginary readers, anyone who is reading this (kalau ada lah kan), apa opinion korang pasal statement ni? Do you guys believe in that?

For me, it's something that I've been holding on to lah. I mean I believe that no matter how you think that one particular person is very right for you, but if the timing is wrong, then you guys are just not meant to be. Of course, it's related to 'jodoh' that Allah has assigned for you. I've read somewhere yang kata 'jodoh' tu we thought it's a person. But actually, it's the 'time'. The 'right' moment that is written for you. And your partner lah of course. So macam, bila fikir macam tu, somehow macam boleh lighten the feeling that you thought your heart is broken. So bila rasa macam heartbroken, just keep in mind yang maybe it's not the right time yet. Yes, it's cliche tapi it's true.

Redha. It's not easy lah to achieve this state. It's not something that you feel comfortable with. But it's like you achieve a state that you accept any, just anything that is happening or given to you. Macam it's undescribable sebenarnya but you just know when you feel it. I'm actually trying to find myself in that state in whatever that I'm facing. So, I really hope I can find it as soon as possible, in every aspect, baik study, baik relationship, baik career, everything.

Pray for me!

Love, 

D.