Love, D.

Assalamualaikum and hi, my imaginary readers.  I don't even know where to start. All this while, I have always been saying that I hate how a year went and how there are so many things that I have regretted throughout the year. But, I can finally say that I love this year and very thankful for how this decade ends. For all these years being a kid, being in school, I can only imagine how complicated and exciting being an adult is. And when I started to enter my 20s 2 years back, I finally got a taste of how adult life is. But this year is different. This year is the last year I am officially no longer a student. I AM NOT GOING TO BE A STUDENT ANYMORE. Well for the time being at least. Though I am still going to keep learning in everything that I do, it's different. I can't even imagine being in a working environment. Officially an ADULT.  I've met so many new people, but I still cut ties with some. I travelled quite a few times and really really grateful for that.

Assalamualaikum and hi to all my imaginary readers! I wonder if I ever can be a legit blogger. I can't even keep up with posting regularly. I procrastinate a lot and I am always out of ideas. It's amazing how Aida Azlin can do it- writing Tuesday's Love Letter, weekly. Like today, since I am off from my part-time job, I took a day-off from doing my research (read: refuse to go to the university ( and this is not very healthy cause I actually have so many things to do and my research is actually meeting a dead end and I definitely have to find something else in order for me to graduate )) and forced myself to take a shower, dressed up and took a train to the nearest Starbucks and here I am, sitting at a table, writing while drinking Venti size of Caramel Macchiato. Not like I'm obligated to write a blog post or anything, just that I feel like I have to get some things out of my head since it's getting a lot messier. So, getting back to the title- Am I on the

Assalamualaikum and hi, my imaginary readers! How's your Ramadhan so far? I really hope the holy month brings us the utmost in peace and had brought us closer to Allah not just in the month itself, but I pray that the spirit of Ramadhan remains in our hearts and lights up our souls from within. Also, I hope the remaining days of our Ramadhan will be filled with many ibadahs and hope we all get to find Laylatul Qadr (disclaimer: copy-pasting sentences from postcards I've sent out).  As this is the second year that I have spent and may or may not be the last year that I will spend Ramadhan abroad, away from my family, I've decided to write a post about it. Though I thought I have so many things to talk about which I supposed to have to, but now the words are just not coming out. Anyways, I hope when you are reading this, you are actually wondering how different it is to celebrate Ramadhan, not in the place or situation or among people that you are used to. I

Assalamualaikum and hi, my imaginary readers! Funny thing- my very first post in 2019! How are you guys, been well? These few days I’ve been here and there and emotionally unstable. I’m not sure whether it’s the time of the month or what but when I checked it’s not it (so I can’t really blame it on my menses). Come to think about it, I am at one of the peaks in my life. Not a good kind of peak but a very miserable one. Making decisions. One of the things that I’m not just not good at but also hate to do. That and also growing up. Growing up is so messy especially because it’s not a destination, it’s a journey. And it’s filled with thorns and so many falling downs.   Wish I could tell you guys, my imaginary readers, what my dilemmas are. But I think I have to deal with it on my own first. I really miss writing and will be posting a lengthy post, soon I hope. Hope it’s not too late to wish you guys happy fasting and Ramadhan al-Mubarak! Love,  D .

I stare at today's date Wondering why it looked so familiar Triggering a part of my brain Triggering a chapter of my life I hold my pen tight  Not knowing what to write Never written a poem to anyone Never thought you'd be the first one As I scribble a few words Many thoughts crossed my mind Am I being selfish Am I being unfair And so I've decided This is not a goodnight But indeed a goodbye Also, happy birthday