Love, D.

Well, hello my fellow imaginary readers (it's been a long time since the last time I've said this), I’ve never met someone so inspiring in my life. It’s amazing how someone can mean something in your life. Well, mean something is a heavy phrase though. More to trigger, or inspire. It’s addictive and you’ll keep finding things to answer your curiosity and amazement. The first day of my internship was quite heavy with all the thinking and remembering people’s names and faces (and those slides of basic ideas on what the company actually do). And that day, also, he opened my mind. That early. At first, it was hard to believe that he just entered the company. Because of the way he acted was so different. Then, when I knew he graduated from Australia, it strengthens my stand on ‘wow this guy must be brilliant’.   Then it happened that I knew his full name, and so I searched him on social media. I found him on Twitter and Instagram. OH MY. So freaking beautiful. Thos...

Mati. Naik bulu roma rasanya bila bicara soal mati. Berita kematian tak putus putus masuk dalam telinga aku since before Ramadhan haritu. Seolah olah macam inalillahiwainnaillahirajiun tu tak pernah lekang from mulut or whatsapp. Banyak sangat berita kematian sampai buat aku fikir, 'macam mana pengakhiran aku?' Bila atuk meninggal, aku jadi saksi air mata lelaki ayah jatuh sebab kedua orang tua dah pergi meninggalkan seorang anak. Bila mak kepada rakan aku meninggal, aku terfikir macam mana kalau aku di tempat dia, kuatkah aku. Dah tu beberapa hari sebelum final pulak tu terima berita macam tu. Kuatnya dia. Bila dengar berita ayah schoolmate meninggal sebab jatuh tangga and time tu dia dekat overseas tengah belajar, buat aku fikir, macam mana kalau ada something happen bila aku dekat Nihon nanti, hmm nauzubillah.  And sekarang, bila terima berita senpai yang aku kenal, meninggal kelmarin, hmm. Taktau nak rasa apa, sebak sangat. Punca kematian, lemas. Asbab yang aku kira...

Wait. I have a love-hate relationship with the word wait. They said time heals everything. They lied. A scar will always be there. No matter how long has passed, a scar is still a scar. And there are times when the scar actually bleed. Why? Because the pain is there. Covered beneath the scar. It’s just there no matter what you do. Say you broke up and met someone new, the things you’re doing or will be doing, remind you of that person. When you’re happy, sad, every single moment. You can’t just forget people over time. They’ve made their way into your book, they just live there; in a chapter or more. They won’t leave.  But, they are all there for some reasons. To teach you something or to be taught of something. Cherish them, or hate them, ignore them, or love them. Do whatever you want. They walked into your book, and so do you. You walked into theirs. Go ahead, write something in their book. Whether you want to write something nice and happy, or something sad and hurt...

I always have moments in my life that I feel like there's no one to talk to, no one to cry with or even no one to spend my daily life with. I mean, especially in every single month, I will always feel like that (not sure if its just 'that' time of the month ke apa but yeah). Bukan literally takde siapa, tapi macam even if there is someone beside me at the moment, I can't really express out apa apa pun yang tengah ada in my mind. Tak kisah lah whether I'm extremely happy or extremely sad. The fact that I'm in uni life now, makes everything extra difficult. I'll always feel like everyone dah move on with their own life especially my high school friends. Contohnya lah kan, nak cakap pasal hal uni macam studies or guys or friends kat sini, high school friends, they can't really do anything about it. I mean, yelah bila nak start cerita pun, you have to tell them from A to Z. Cerita tu confirm lah bersangkut paut, so you can't really put it in words e...

assalamualaikum semua. pejam celik pejam celik, maghrib ni dah nak Ramadhan dah. cepatnya masa berlalu. so, how are my imaginary readers? are you guys ready yet? dah setkan iman and niat? hmm, banyak sangat benda best dalam bulan Ramadhan ni, besides all those yummy food, bulan Ramadhan ni kita boleh test siapa diri kita sebenarnya. means, it depends on you lah sebab syaitan kan stop bekerja kejap, jadi kalau bulan Ramadhan ni kita rasa macam nak buat jahat, jom check balik iman. ni nak cerita ni, haritu one of my classmates had to do an impromptu speech sebab we all have to do the public speaking task tau depan the whole class, and his topic was about hope. so, macam i wasn't expecting anything, tiba-tiba he asked," so, dyls what's your current hope?" and without thinking, I said, "to satisfy others," Ya Allah. what was i thinking? memang tu ke apa yang hati aku nak? puaskan hati orang lain? haih somehow i am disappointed with myself. why did i answer ...

dah lama sangat rasanya tak post apa apa dekat sini. jap eh nak tiup habuk yang dah bertimbun ni (trying hard blogger mitai huhu) first of all, nak tanya sihat ke imaginary readers ku? apa habaq semua? macam mana hidup? macam mana iman? (amboi usrah mana ni, hihi gurau) jadinya macam ni, susah sebenarnya aku nak allocate masa nak post kat blog ni al maklum lah busy bebenor. sebelum tu, nak minta maaf laju-laju sebab tulis blog post dalam bahasa melayu and kalau terkeluar nihongo sikit sikit. bukan apa, nihongo aku pun tak hebat mana pun cuma, level english aku semakin down, kadang tu ada perkataan ingat nihongo nya je tapi english, melayu nya kat mana tah. so, balik kepada kenapa aku gigih karang ayat harini adalah kerana, aku nak cerita pasal dugaan. sebab benda ni of course lah kan jadi kat aku, tapi aku nak benda yang jadi kat aku boleh jadi ibrah untuk orang lain jugak. amin. so, for muqadimahnya, aku nak tanya, korang pernah tak rasa ada satu masa tu semua datang bertubi-t...

Assalamualaikum. It's been a long time since my last post here. It was last year I guess. Okay, so, the other day, I saw Anwar Hadi's tweet about 'describe yourself using verbs' thing and I finally figured out mine. I am so growing up and surviving. Ya Allah god knows how much I have to go through in the process of growing up and obviously I am still finding ways to survive in the path that I chose. Not that I regret in what I had chosen, but no doubt, it's hard and complicated. Growing up sucks. It's not the cliche thing or statement that you always hear, but it's just the reality. When people say life finally starts when you graduated from high school, it's true. Everything ahead of you is by your own choice. I mean, from every aspect. From the very complicated matter like where you going to continue your studies, who your friends are, what person you going to be in the future until to the very simple situation like where you going to eat or wh...